If you love someone, set them free

this is a turning point
can you see it?
right there
this is where I turn away
lay down my weapons
and fight for you
no longer
(it was a losing battle)
this is it, darling
this is the moment where we
sink
or maybe
steel ourselves
and swim
I could lose you
forever, maybe
or I’ll be ever so lucky
and every prophecy made
by every
cheesy teen movie
sad love song
romance novel
will come true
and you’ll come back
just because
you want me
more than anything

Why I didn't answer my phone today

I hide from you
to protect myself
because if I let my heart
get tangled up in your
hot and cold
there and gone
love me, hate me
it’s still an obsession
world

then I would drown
fade
and die
all because I love you
just a little too much
all because when I met you
I realized that you were
a piece that I had been missing
but now I know
that your piece is too close to my heart
there is too much of a risk
of breakage
you put my pieces back together
only to tear me apart

Fading with you would be positively nautical

if you and I
we’re going to drown
then let’s drown together
grab onto each other
life preservers both
and float in the darkness
as we slowly sift downwards
onto the sharp edged rocks
that await
if you and I
we’re going to drown
we can at least give each other
a little something else to hold onto
though you have yours
and I have mine
when all the world is
obliterated
by waves and breakers
somehow I know that then
it will be just
you and I
who drown
so we will clutch
at each other
hold on for dear life
as she slips away from you
as I slip away from me
baby, let’s drown together
breathe deep the waves
and sink beyond caring

Denial, Tears, and Prayer at Midnight

(darling, this is for you)

i almost called you last night
in the midst of my tears
i lay in bed
cell phone in hand
and watched your number
swim and blur
before my teary eyes
i wanted to call you
because you are the one
who puts my pieces back together
i wanted to call you
the friend you
the almost me you
but somehow i knew
if i dialed the phone
it would be answered by
the you
who makes my stomach knot
the one i can never have
that shiny shattered
made of dreams you
who only appears when i
can’t feel anyone else
in the dark when my
shadows scream about loss
and i hide under the covers
like a little child and chant
your name like i’m praying

and part of me
always thinks you might just
walk in the door
if i cry for you enough
and then i wouldn’t need to call.

Trapeze Artist, Run Away From Home, Multicolored Love

and baby
I’m out of my head out of
my mind
tangled up in your crazyass words
and your beautiful eyes
and I don’t know why I can’t
just
get
the
hell
away from you and
and your mind games
I dream of you in
psychedelic, burning colors
but never black and white because
oh, darling,
you know
that you and I
we are just shades of gray
and that is all we’ll
ever be
unless you stop pretending
open your eyes to the
awesome technicolor love
I have for
you
and only
you

Runaway (For PC)

let’s

run away to San Francisco,
Paris, and New York
get matching tattoos
and lip rings
that mirror when we kiss
run in the rain
in formal wear
touch under streetlights
and drink chai
in graffitied cafes
sing
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
while holding hands
in some distant city
where we’ve never
been known
take photos on rooftops
and adopt kittens
by the dozen
eat nothing but macaroni
and popsicles
for months at a time
and wear black
every day of the year
fall in love again
every time we breathe.

Here Are My Empty Words for You

no matter what you say to me
no matter how this ends
for one touch one moment one glance
i was loved

in the dark of cold nights
and in the harsh light of day
i simple sit, close my eyes
and remember that time
when you loved me

the memory has saved me
time and time again
from fear and broken hearts
your hand on my waist
and your breath on my ear
just your presence
just the warmth of your gaze

i have faded without you,
darling
without this memory
there would be
nothing
left
but
empty
words

Explosively Loving

we aren’t like other people
me & you
the boxes that society
so adores
explode at the very thought of us

we will never be lovers
we will never be just friends
we will never be “just” anything

i could say
“you’re like a sibling to me”
but that would be
one more lie to add to the list

you will never love me more than her
but you will never stop loving me
even the words “best friend”
fall short

so we will keep on
keeping on
exploding boxes
we will love
and never know why

A Thank You

i was having a bad day
feeling
left out of my life
and generally down

so i called you
and for once you
actually answered your phone

told me funny stories
about bus rides
told me to take
a long hot shower
and dream about kittens
and sleep for
a very long time

you said
“sorry i’m not being
more comforting to you.
all i can really
do for you is
be your friend
if you’ll be mine”

i almost laughed then, because
you have no idea
how much you even
saying the word
friend
in my general direction
means to me

so i thought i
might write some bad poetry
not even thinking of rhyme
or reason
just of falling asleep
to
the rhythm
of your voice

An Ode to the Unsaid Things

you are a cornucopia
of unsaid things
you dance in amongst
the landmines of
things you will not
cannot say to me

you will not say
‘I love you’

you cannot say
‘goodbye forever’

we stand in stalemate
facing off to all our
silent words
like chess pieces
waiting for players to
make their move

you would laugh at metaphors
ask me why I was writing
such pretentious poetry
tell me to simply say what
I needed to say to you

you have no idea
how hard
that would be

For My Other Half

we are a whirlwind,
you and I
we sweep through the world
arm in arm
mind in mind
we wait for no one
we stop for nothing

‘you are my life’,
you tell me
joking, but still
‘we share a brain’,
we laugh
joking, but still

we laugh at the same jokes
cry at the same songs
we touch,
arm in arm
hand to hand
hip on hip
because it makes it easier

whirlwind,
inseparable
soul sisters
psycho twins
you lean on me
I lean on you

can you read my mind?
I can read yours

The Implausibility of You & Me

Where did we go wrong?
How is it possible that we have drifted so far
from all that is & isn’t?
You don’t have to save me,
just hold me and tell me if I’m wrong.
Which I must be, because you have yet
to hold me and tell me otherwise.
You have yet to hold me at all.
The voices tell me I shouldn’t be angry.
My implausible daydreams
do not even merit that.
I am grasping at straws and songs
that might have my name
hidden in the beautiful
hold me keep me love me lyrics.
Where did I go wrong?
How is it possible that I believed
in the chance of you & me?

Alone and Lonely

alone in a crowded room
such a cliché
but I suppose that
is how I live now
each minute has already
been lived by another

I’m floating
when all around me plant their feet
you would be my tether
the only thing
keeping me here

but I am sadly alone
and lonely in a crowded room
I live a life of
old clichés

It Must Get Easier, Or Else We Wouldn't Be Here

forgive me, dear
for wanting you for needing you
for everything
I didn’t mean to let it go this far

I drown myself in music
in dark in sounds in words
and hope to God
I can forget all the things I've said to you

it shouldn’t have to be this hard
according to the books movies songs
if we were fictional
you would love me more than life itself

wouldn’t that be beautiful

I don’t know why I need you
I don’t know why I care (you say you care too)
I want you out of my head
I don’t want it to go this far

The Darker The Day

it gets harder to fake it every day
the smiles and laughs and oh yes I’m fines
some days giving up seems easier
some days you only want to scream

in this life we strive for happiness
perfection true love and beauty
like it isn’t hard enough just to
get up in the mornings and smile
wave at someone friendly when
really
you’d rather flip them off

it gets harder to breath without crying
to survive a day without breaking down
some days nothing seems possible
some days you dream of endings

other days the light shines through

she loves you.