Explosively Loving

we aren’t like other people
me & you
the boxes that society
so adores
explode at the very thought of us

we will never be lovers
we will never be just friends
we will never be “just” anything

i could say
“you’re like a sibling to me”
but that would be
one more lie to add to the list

you will never love me more than her
but you will never stop loving me
even the words “best friend”
fall short

so we will keep on
keeping on
exploding boxes
we will love
and never know why

A Thank You

i was having a bad day
feeling
left out of my life
and generally down

so i called you
and for once you
actually answered your phone

told me funny stories
about bus rides
told me to take
a long hot shower
and dream about kittens
and sleep for
a very long time

you said
“sorry i’m not being
more comforting to you.
all i can really
do for you is
be your friend
if you’ll be mine”

i almost laughed then, because
you have no idea
how much you even
saying the word
friend
in my general direction
means to me

so i thought i
might write some bad poetry
not even thinking of rhyme
or reason
just of falling asleep
to
the rhythm
of your voice

An Ode to the Unsaid Things

you are a cornucopia
of unsaid things
you dance in amongst
the landmines of
things you will not
cannot say to me

you will not say
‘I love you’

you cannot say
‘goodbye forever’

we stand in stalemate
facing off to all our
silent words
like chess pieces
waiting for players to
make their move

you would laugh at metaphors
ask me why I was writing
such pretentious poetry
tell me to simply say what
I needed to say to you

you have no idea
how hard
that would be

For My Other Half

we are a whirlwind,
you and I
we sweep through the world
arm in arm
mind in mind
we wait for no one
we stop for nothing

‘you are my life’,
you tell me
joking, but still
‘we share a brain’,
we laugh
joking, but still

we laugh at the same jokes
cry at the same songs
we touch,
arm in arm
hand to hand
hip on hip
because it makes it easier

whirlwind,
inseparable
soul sisters
psycho twins
you lean on me
I lean on you

can you read my mind?
I can read yours

The Implausibility of You & Me

Where did we go wrong?
How is it possible that we have drifted so far
from all that is & isn’t?
You don’t have to save me,
just hold me and tell me if I’m wrong.
Which I must be, because you have yet
to hold me and tell me otherwise.
You have yet to hold me at all.
The voices tell me I shouldn’t be angry.
My implausible daydreams
do not even merit that.
I am grasping at straws and songs
that might have my name
hidden in the beautiful
hold me keep me love me lyrics.
Where did I go wrong?
How is it possible that I believed
in the chance of you & me?

Alone and Lonely

alone in a crowded room
such a cliché
but I suppose that
is how I live now
each minute has already
been lived by another

I’m floating
when all around me plant their feet
you would be my tether
the only thing
keeping me here

but I am sadly alone
and lonely in a crowded room
I live a life of
old clichés

It Must Get Easier, Or Else We Wouldn't Be Here

forgive me, dear
for wanting you for needing you
for everything
I didn’t mean to let it go this far

I drown myself in music
in dark in sounds in words
and hope to God
I can forget all the things I've said to you

it shouldn’t have to be this hard
according to the books movies songs
if we were fictional
you would love me more than life itself

wouldn’t that be beautiful

I don’t know why I need you
I don’t know why I care (you say you care too)
I want you out of my head
I don’t want it to go this far