Untitled.

I lust after the way you
include all the same smileys that he uses
into the comments you leave me.
The way you hold cigarettes in your hands.
I find pleasure and safety
in lying under tables telling you secrets
jokes, and stories.

Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be.
Maybe the hard-to-breathe feeling means
that finally finally finally finally
someone likes me back.
But for you and I
the road to possibilities is littered
with the sharp broken pieces of relationships
gone bad, or simply faded.
And I have no need to scar my flesh today.

I lose myself in your careless smile.
The lyrics of a song we both love.
And then I stand,
and hug you one last time.
Pretend it doesn’t hurt like it always does.

When I turn back, on the stairway
you are bent over the cigarette and lighter
in your hand.
Glancing up, I see the distance in your eyes
and know that we know
this is all what it needs to be.
But all I can think about is how much I wish
a good bye kiss wasn’t so out of the question.